It took me some time….

Three years to write a post… how bad is that. So much has happened in the past three years and so much content that I can write. I think that’s what I will do, not only because I know that I can rant way too much, but because I would really like to look back/read back on each event separately.

I don’t think I will create much following from the things that I write or even by the way that I type, I do however hope that I can maybe help people who have similar experiences or I can help someone relieve their boredom.

Until next time, which will bet sooner than last time Haha.

Langham Melbourne

We had the most beautiful stay at the Langham, we received a gift voucher at our engagement party from my finances uncle. the voucher was valid for a week day only including Friday nights (which we didn’t know until we called and asked). We decided we would go and stay the weekend before valentines as the voucher would be running out soon and didn’t want to waste it.

The Langham is a big part of my finances family, his parents stay there quite frequently as a gift to themselves. So they told us that we should call up and ask how much extra it would be to get into the members lounge, as this would enable us to get free breakfast and dinner. With the gift that we received we would have been able to have breakfast for free any way, though we would have wanted to go out for dinner and in Melbourne’s CBD that’s not usually cheap. We ended up paying $100 each which included a room upgrade this also enabled us to get into the members lounge. Which is so nice, its quiet the food is real good and its like a mini buffet. The staff up there are so polite, they don’t necessarily clean the tables quickly but it’s still gorgeous and the views are pretty good too.

We arrived at around 6.00pm dinner in the club lounge ended at 8.00pm so we went to our room and I got changed as I left straight from work. After we had some sushi and nibbles we decided to have a walk down to crown. It felt like we were in Vegas again, no-one calling us to go and do anything and just feeling free and in our own little world for a night.

After a couple of drinks and a little show by a street performer we headed back to the room and snuggled up in the softest king size bed I have ever been in and watched the end of a cricket match (she rolls her eyes). It was honestly one of best nights sleep in a while.

We had a great breakfast and was able to choose from an English breakfast, a nice selection of fruit and yogurt, some pastries and a really nice coffee. I was craving a mimosa so bad but they didn’t seem to be serving alcohol in the morning which considering the venue that seemed realistic.

If you ever have the opportunity to stay at the Langham you will enjoy it, not only walking into the entrance and seeing one of the most beautiful water features, or the smell of the lobby (which we found out they put the scent in the air conditioning!) or the beauty of the marble decor, the freedom and silence, the food, the women’s only sauna/steam room (the men have their own too) and the pool, or the comfy king size bed.  You will enjoy it because its amazing! and secretly addictive I really hope we can go back.

 

 

London Crime

So I moved out of london for a couple of selfish reasons, Love and Freedom. I did not move out of london because of crime, it was not the first thing that came to mind. However Im starting to realise that I definitely moved away from somewhere dangerous. I am not by any means saying that Melbourne does not have any crime, Im well aware. However Ive been reading so much news lately and my mother has told me about a story in the uk about her friends nephew called Russell.

Russell was out with his friends outside a shop where they were meeting one of their dads. Suddenly a group of boys came around the corner with shotgun and knifes. As soon as Russell and his friends saw them they dispersed, running in all directions. Russell was shot in the abdomen and stabbed 12 times, one of his friends was stabbed twice also. Russell died due to the assault and the others survived. Two of the boys that done this were as I say boys, 20-23 years old.

When reading the article today it said that the two boys received 29 years minimum, but the prison system in the UK is broken. A documentary on youtube says that a French company now privately owns many or all of the prisons in the UK. Winning the contact by promising that they can save the UK over one hundred and thirty million dollars a year (i think i might have to edit this later). This documentary is actually disgraceful to watch, it shoes a BBC worker going undercover in once of the prisons. It shoes prisoners drunk and high, shouting at police and the police/ prison guards have absolutely no authority.

So in conclusion a woman has lost her son, a family are missing a family member because you thought he was in a rival “gang”, well you were wrong. Your actual idiots because not only do you not understand the difference between right and wrong, or understand the consequences of your actions especially those of the people that you have effected. You are now going to a prison where you can get high and drunk have fun, and probably kill someone else because you just don’t understand life and the value of it. All because the politics in my native land are corrupt and again just as selfish.

Im sorry for the rant I just do not understand, appreciate or even want to believe that there are systems in the US that are better than our own and as much as there are still people getting high and drunk in American prisons there are still consequences for that. There are still punishments for actions like that it just really frustrates me that we can attempt to punish someone and still do it wrong. Its like telling a child to go to his naughty chair and the naughty chair being the gaming chair on front of his play station that he is still aloud to play,

Over Year Later

So it has definitley been a while since written or even looking at my blog. Not only has my mac broken/ completely pooped itself.

– side note its so annoying that macs only last for a few years, I understand that its part of a sales technique however when you spend that much on something you hope it lasts a while, well you hope it lasts longer than a $500 demo one that you can get from officeworks. Which im actually considering, not that i have that kind of spare money laying around at the moment but i think you know where im going with this.

Anyway where was i, life has been the same boring snail ride. The last time i wrote a post on here my visa application was accepted and shortly after i got engaged which has been the highlight of my life to date. Since we arrived back to melbourne i have worked at a clothing store which was a group of savage people who were eager to make more money and wanted to impress with sale. Now im not the pushy forceful type so needless to say i dont think i will ever be returning to sales, especially if i can help it. I now work in customer service for a small company about a 10 minute drive away from home if that. Its decent money and we get 1 free lunch a month. (I will not complain about the company untill i have left)

However there is some good news, WE HAVE BOOKED A VENUE!!

We are getting married at Tatra Receptions in March 2020. I saw the venue online and instantly loved it, and was excited to see that they had an open day coming up which i signed up for immediately. Ash and i were both excited to go so we invited his parents also so that we could get their opinion on it aswell. His mum drove and when we arrived in the car park ash said “this is the one” instantly i laughed thinking he’s so frustrating this is the first one we’ve come to and we havent even seen inside were only in the car park.
Needless to say it was the one the outdoor space is gorgeous and they offer and a chapel that we can switch to at least an hour before the wedding just incase the weather turns randomly. Although it would be a shame if we couldnt perform the wedding outside, its so floural and natural and almost making me feel like the dress that may parent bought for me may not suit the venue but i love it so who cares!

The reception area is gorgeous there are even who fire places which we are going to have lit so that you can smell the subtle smell of the wood i know that Ash is excited about that. We are yet to organise anything else such as invitations which is definitley the next on my to do list, although it should be figureing out a photographer and videographer.

Spouse in a hole

I officially have my spouse visa for Australia. I am now a Melbourne resident and am coming into very close contact with a lot of mind-boggling situations compared to when I was here on merely a ‘vacation’.

I am recently engaged, we were engaged in Vegas (Kinda cliché but it was really nice) by the bellagio fountains with loads of friends for support (or to create a crowd) this happened a couple of weeks after finding out our visa was accepted after just 6-8 months of applying which through research and my agent telling me is pretty unheard of. Originally we were not planning on moving to Melbourne straight away though due to finances we decided it would be better to stay here and work to save up some money so later I could go home and collect the rest of me belongings. Which now after almost two months is feeling like maybe the wrong choice, though I have done it and recently been given a job and am working for the money that I need to go.

Its difficult, maybe I made it more difficult than it needed to be though I thought it was the right choice at the time. Being here with no friends except his, or immediate family, again except his, is quite hard. I really hope that the men or women of whom have partners from overseas realise how much we give up in order to chase that one love. In my mind it is almost like I have given up feeling at home for someone who I hope I can create my own home with. So going to social events that are never with your own friends or hearing about past times when you weren’t around or memories that you know nothing about. Trying to mould yourself into a different group but hoping that mould will still suit those from your own country for when you get to go and see them, And don’t mention the option of getting married. I know that that is going to be severely difficult which is why I have decided to have a wedding in over two years time to ensure that those who want to come from the uk have time to save up the money to come to it and also for us to save up the money to throw it.

Going from a small fish in a small pond to an even smaller fish in a huge pond.

When things get unexpectedly difficult

I complain alot about things that are out of my control, I know at the time when im complaining that there is no point complaining about it but it makes me feel better.

Im currently applying for my partner visa with an agency company and there are so many forms that you have to send them for them to be able to recognise that you are actually in a relationship with that person, and for some reason it seems to come down to money. How much money do you give to eachother on a regular basis, do you share finances, how do you share finances. How many joint accounts do you have? I find it difficult to understand why that matters when we have only been together for just over a year. How many couples who have been together for a year actually share finances especially people who are under the age of 30 and not married. In some ways I guess it does prepare us for the future and we do intend to be together for a very long time so it doesn’t matter too much as to weither we do it now or later. I guess for some people sharing finances and their money is daunting especially if they do not see a long term future with that person its the type of pressure that shows the seriousness of a relationship like a test. A bit mean but I guess they dont want anyone to abuse the system.

I work, and at work there is usually one person who feels like they are above everyone else, weither they think they know more or they think they have more powIer i feel like theres always that person and if you dont agree then maybe its you. I work with the kind of lady that says things like “ive been doing this for 25 years” and then contradicts all of the learning she has received with “using a cloth on a kitchen counter is a lot more hygienic than using blue role” WHAT?! Oh and another one “Hey darling we need to make sure things are topped up for the next day” me- “I understand but that one is old so we cant top it up with new yogurt so you should use that first tomorrow its good food practice” employee “no darling that’s not how we do it” I assure you darling it is considering I trained the person who trained you and you are doing it wrong so I suggest you listen to me because education and knowledge trumps how long you have been doing your job especially when you are doing it wrong! Argh it frustrates me that when you are a regular team member you have no way of implementing rules and when you go to your superiors they think that you are just gossiping about another employee, I assure all of you that what I am saying is right weither you do or do not know the hospitality industry I know that I have done enough health and hygiene courses that I feel I could go undercover at any company and tell them what their employees are doing wrong and I honestly think I should do it, its annoying and interesting how many people work in places where they dont actually know the right practice to do things, I hope this doesn’t happen in hospitals imagine the terrible things that could happen. I know im babbling a little but its annoying and people need to stand up for the right things otherwise everything is going to go to s**t.

Another thing to moan about and then ill tell you something that I may need some help with, not that I get any viewers that write their opinions or views on here but just incase there is an odd chance somone might like to, weither its negative or positive its all constructive. I have started to go to the gym, not to loose weight or to become muscle woman but because I want to be healthy and im encouraging my boyfriend to do the same. When I went yesterday I noticed so many people on equipment which is great thats the first step to actually using that piece of ecquipment but they seem to think that the second step is going on their phone, why people why?! If your on a treadmill or a bike and on your phone while you are exceriseing go for it it may be important maybe out work for yourself and you need to be continuously available. But when your sitting on the leg press on your phone not doing anything for at least ten minutes, your being a menice and its not  considerate to everyone else who’s trying to work out and better themselves, of course im not going to complain its called patience I can wait, but come on be considerate.

Someday I want to be a teacher, the problem is im not sure how, I am going to america for the summer, and as soon as my visa comes in for australia I am moving there (writing that gives me butterflies). So I dont think I have enough time here in the UK to do a course or anything, I have never worked in a school so thats probably a first step to getting my foot in the door but then I aren’t completed any courses that allow me to get a teaching assistant job. I really dont know if I have enough time or my visa allows me the privilege of completing a course in Australia. Makes me feel like I have to wait a while before I can start the process and I obviously want to start as soon as I can and get my career started. I need money a car and a house before I can have a child and family because I believe that you need to sort your priorities out before you start claiming more responsibilities.

Queen of the palace

Sometimes living at home I see a pain in the backside! when I say home I mean both parents and siblings. For people who have never lived out of home this wouldn’t apply I don’t think. When I was living at university I had my own bills, responsibilities, food and cleaning to do. I got home about a month ago and just started working, I live on the edge of london which is a good location to why move out and pay extortionate amounts of money to be in the same area when I can live at home and save money for when I go back to Australia? Not smart!

I just like to have my own space to do my own things to lean my own way and Ben queen of my palace I need to start saving, sorting my partner visa out for Australia and thinking about purchasing a house I have a year and a half to do that. Not long when you think about it.

Before I Die

Ive been thinking alot about how im gonna feel like on my death bed, super gloomy I know, but I just hope that when I’m laying there about to give up Im not disappointed with how I’ve lived my life. I have a few things that I want to make sure I do before my time has run out. Its not a completed list but here’s a few things. If you can think of anything that you think I should consider let me know.

• Teach English in a foreign country.
• Do something mad like skydive, bungee jump or air gliding.
• Adopt a child, when the time is right.
• Meet a monk.
• Walk the great wall of china.
• Have one of those luxurious holidays in the bahamas or virgin islands.
• Enjoy the full moon party.
• Partake in a gang bank (JOKE!!!!!, run out of ideas for now!)

I got a message…

I was having a look through instagram the other day, and I noticed I had a message. One of those kinds of messages that you had to either accept or decline.

The message said that they had had a look through my blog, and would love to contact me about an opportunity, and to email them back.

The message was from someone who works for My trending stories. It excites me really, wondering what they may have read out of all of my babbling that may have been impressed with. Ive had a little look online about them, some people say that its a relatively new site, or that the site is asking to use people’s posts for free. Im not sure that for anyone who is writing in their blog as a hobby really should look at it in that way. If your doing this for the money I would understand that if someone approached you and asked to use some of your work for free then you may be upset. But for someone like me who writes whenever I want about whatever I want and most of the times it’s not really about much, I dont see why I shouldn’t share my opinion with others and get my name out there, you never know what could happen.

There are all of these people asking for reposts, being on a website like this could allow you to be seen when people only visit because their reading something completely different. This website has tons of different types of articles/posts. It may be a case of, the longer you write for them and the more views you bring in the more likely you could get a little pocket money. Im not too fazed I write for fun, for something to do, and because I cant bear not using my laptop and never using the keyboard for its real purpose.

Ill keep you guys posted, ill tell you what happens good or bad.

5 Things you should know about me…

Looking through my blog its become a little bit quiet. Partly because I haven’t been doing much lately. I’m in Australia waiting, waiting to spend an amazing christmas with the in-laws, waiting for my flight back to the uk, waiting to start the process of my defacto visa. So I decided to let you know a little bit about me, because to be perfectly honest the inspiration and the creative flow of thinking of what to write about has frozen lately.

Thanatophobia

Not to start with something gloomy or negative but, lately when I go to sleep at night, I cant help but thinking ‘what if I don’t wake up’ what if once I close my eyes, they don’t open again, Or what if me sleeping is wasting time that I have to really live. There are tons of different theories to why people might think of this at night. I think it’s because im not working, and I’m not doing much during the day, so when I put my head down to sleep im purely not tired. Its called thanatophobia (fear of death) and apparently its pretty normal. I read a post about a girl who started thinking about it in her early teens, and now she has a severe form of OCD. She purely doesn’t like the fact that she has no control over when her life may end so she uses that stress to control the other things around her. I dont want to be that person, I want to be a carefree person, someone who can be who they want to be, and live the way they want to live but with no worries, especially about the inevitable

Travel

I want to travel, I want to buy one of those maps that you can use like a scratch card, scratch of the countries that I have been to and attach a photo with sting to point out where it was taken. I want to find a travel and family friendly job so that I have no limits to where I can go and how much it may cost. There are so many places I want to go to, so far id only be scratching out a few countries, but besides going to one city, I haven’t really traveled a whole country, to see all of the beautiful and different places it has within it. For example  you can go to Mexico, sit on the beach with a beautiful cocktail and get an amazing tan, or you can go to mexico be in a hostel and hear gun shots out of your window. Obviously I don’t want to put myself in danger but there are so many different things about different countries that I would love to understand. Having studied journalism and being interested in crime documentaries, there are things that I would love to see (NOT someone getting shot) good and not so good. Not just Mexico, I want to go to India and see the spice markets and the beautiful colours, I want to go to africa and see beautiful wild animals that are free, I want to go to Canada and ski in the mountains, Even to Italy where I have been skiing but I want to go to Venice and Rome and see all of the beautiful architecture. Greece to the Cyclades to see the beautiful houses. I want to see the northern lights! There’s so much I want to see!

Over Ambitious

I’m so over ambitious but I never go through with the plans that I want to set myself. I think it runs in my family to be honest. I studied photographic journalism, but when finishing my course I realised how many people were doing photography, and how journalism isnt based on being a published writer for a paper or a magazine. It’s about using good ethics and writing what you believe in, and that doesn’t necessarily help you get paid, because people want to hear what they want to hear and not necesserily trying to find what the truth is. So I got to thinking, I would love to be a school teacher, but for what ages and if its older what would I want to teach? Also with the way my life is going right now I wouldn’t be able to afford to go back to school to do a teaching degree, that is pretty pricey now days. So then I thought what about using what I already have, I’ve always been interested in criminology, So I could be a crime scene photographer, though with my fear of dying im not sure how I would turn out if I was around so many dead bodies, it may make me go crazy. Then I started reading more, what about being a writer? I enjoy being on my laptop and typing but I honestly don’t think id be good enough to write a best seller kind of book. When I write, its more about whats going on around me or what I have experienced im not sure I would be able to do that in third person and build a character and write something that people would enjoy for hours. Now im stuck, maybe ill just do what society wants me to do and be a stay at home breeder for my boyfriend, Just never be independent, never learn new things and then become boring (Obviously not!). I thought that when I finished university i would understand, and I would know what I wanted to do specifically but what if I never find out or I never know. I know that if I was talking to someone double or triple my age they would tell me everything and put things into perspective but I dont know what it is about us young folk that go ah well now they think it’s a good idea I dont want to do it anymore haha. Its one of those things where it would be easier if i was handed something new and I would be like yea this is great ill try that out. I need to find my me in the working world. I need to find what I can do that earns me money and makes me happy at the same time, run with it and then be the best at it. I even somtimes think that I could be an inventor, the amount of ideas that I have and I think they are amazing!

Crime

I am way too interested in crime documentaries. When I have baths, I want to watch something, sitting in silence bores me. So watching crime documentaries based on all different things. Missing people, prison behaviour, mass killings and many more. Lately Ive been watching 60 days in, about innocent people volunteering to go into prison to help the sherif to understand what is happening within the prison, how drugs are getting in there and how they can stop any further ciminal activity from inside the prison and also how they can prevent people from going back after being released. Im not sure why it interests me so much, Im not a violent person by any means, I have never hit anyone, never been in a fight, I hate confrontation it makes me really emotional. I think its more because I want to understand it, I cant understand how people can hit others or even kill somone. I remember when I passed my driving test and started driving alone I got home and nearly started crying in my room thinking ‘holy crap I could kill somone whilst driving’. Its something that worried me whenever I drove, not to the extent where I was a dangerous driver, I was just more cautious. Somtimes I worry that if I was ever accused of something so hanus the police would look through my computer history and be like ‘Shes been planning this for years!’. That would never happen but honestly it just makes me wonder about the lives that people live and how they can do things that I would never think about doing.

Broody for a baby

I watched a movie today called storks, It made me want a baby so bad! I have been thinking about it for a little while me and my boyfriend especially him loves children and cant wait for the day he gets to be a father. I want to hold my child and feel the love and connection. I want to raise a respectful caring young gentleman and want to help him with his homework and being respectful to women of all ages. I want to raise a daughter where i can dress her up simialar to me for partys and events, be her best friend, somone that she can confide in and allow her to never feel alone or that she cant tell me anything and everything. I want to provide my boyfriend with everything that he has dreamed of and provide him with a child that he will love and appreciate and help to give him a greater meaning of life and providing. Right now it is definitley not financially responsible. I dont have a visa to stay in australia with him and he doesnt really want to live in the UK. I looked into the visa process and im pretty sure if I ended up pregnant while we were in the UK it would be so much more expensive if I had to add a baby onto my visa. It would also mean that we would be coming back into his family home with a child and without work when we get here we would have to rely on family to help us with feeding and clothing the baby, which to me would not be great beause walking around toysrus the otherday I realised how much I would want to buy and how much I would want to get. That wouldnt be fair especially for a potential mother who would want to provide everything for her child. So I feel that I’d have to wait for a few years until I am settled with my boyfriend in a home where we can bring up a child with no other worries. Im just a very impatient person and want it now. Sounds selfish I know.

I understand some of these things may seem odd. Im 23 and unemployed, with a degree and no real clear path. Some of these things may be more common than I might think but I thought I should write a post that some people can relate to and hopfully it can help some of you to understand me a little bit more and help you to not feel so alone in some of your worrys or some of your interests. It would be nice to hear from any of you that have some of the same worries, interests, or even stresses.