Spouse in a hole

I officially have my spouse visa for Australia. I am now a Melbourne resident and am coming into very close contact with a lot of mind-boggling situations compared to when I was here on merely a ‘vacation’.

I am recently engaged, we were engaged in Vegas (Kinda cliché but it was really nice) by the bellagio fountains with loads of friends for support (or to create a crowd) this happened a couple of weeks after finding out our visa was accepted after just 6-8 months of applying which through research and my agent telling me is pretty unheard of. Originally we were not planning on moving to Melbourne straight away though due to finances we decided it would be better to stay here and work to save up some money so later I could go home and collect the rest of me belongings. Which now after almost two months is feeling like maybe the wrong choice, though I have done it and recently been given a job and am working for the money that I need to go.

Its difficult, maybe I made it more difficult than it needed to be though I thought it was the right choice at the time. Being here with no friends except his, or immediate family, again except his, is quite hard. I really hope that the men or women of whom have partners from overseas realise how much we give up in order to chase that one love. In my mind it is almost like I have given up feeling at home for someone who I hope I can create my own home with. So going to social events that are never with your own friends or hearing about past times when you weren’t around or memories that you know nothing about. Trying to mould yourself into a different group but hoping that mould will still suit those from your own country for when you get to go and see them, And don’t mention the option of getting married. I know that that is going to be severely difficult which is why I have decided to have a wedding in over two years time to ensure that those who want to come from the uk have time to save up the money to come to it and also for us to save up the money to throw it.

Going from a small fish in a small pond to an even smaller fish in a huge pond.

When things get unexpectedly difficult

I complain alot about things that are out of my control, I know at the time when im complaining that there is no point complaining about it but it makes me feel better.

Im currently applying for my partner visa with an agency company and there are so many forms that you have to send them for them to be able to recognise that you are actually in a relationship with that person, and for some reason it seems to come down to money. How much money do you give to eachother on a regular basis, do you share finances, how do you share finances. How many joint accounts do you have? I find it difficult to understand why that matters when we have only been together for just over a year. How many couples who have been together for a year actually share finances especially people who are under the age of 30 and not married. In some ways I guess it does prepare us for the future and we do intend to be together for a very long time so it doesn’t matter too much as to weither we do it now or later. I guess for some people sharing finances and their money is daunting especially if they do not see a long term future with that person its the type of pressure that shows the seriousness of a relationship like a test. A bit mean but I guess they dont want anyone to abuse the system.

I work, and at work there is usually one person who feels like they are above everyone else, weither they think they know more or they think they have more powIer i feel like theres always that person and if you dont agree then maybe its you. I work with the kind of lady that says things like “ive been doing this for 25 years” and then contradicts all of the learning she has received with “using a cloth on a kitchen counter is a lot more hygienic than using blue role” WHAT?! Oh and another one “Hey darling we need to make sure things are topped up for the next day” me- “I understand but that one is old so we cant top it up with new yogurt so you should use that first tomorrow its good food practice” employee “no darling that’s not how we do it” I assure you darling it is considering I trained the person who trained you and you are doing it wrong so I suggest you listen to me because education and knowledge trumps how long you have been doing your job especially when you are doing it wrong! Argh it frustrates me that when you are a regular team member you have no way of implementing rules and when you go to your superiors they think that you are just gossiping about another employee, I assure all of you that what I am saying is right weither you do or do not know the hospitality industry I know that I have done enough health and hygiene courses that I feel I could go undercover at any company and tell them what their employees are doing wrong and I honestly think I should do it, its annoying and interesting how many people work in places where they dont actually know the right practice to do things, I hope this doesn’t happen in hospitals imagine the terrible things that could happen. I know im babbling a little but its annoying and people need to stand up for the right things otherwise everything is going to go to s**t.

Another thing to moan about and then ill tell you something that I may need some help with, not that I get any viewers that write their opinions or views on here but just incase there is an odd chance somone might like to, weither its negative or positive its all constructive. I have started to go to the gym, not to loose weight or to become muscle woman but because I want to be healthy and im encouraging my boyfriend to do the same. When I went yesterday I noticed so many people on equipment which is great thats the first step to actually using that piece of ecquipment but they seem to think that the second step is going on their phone, why people why?! If your on a treadmill or a bike and on your phone while you are exceriseing go for it it may be important maybe out work for yourself and you need to be continuously available. But when your sitting on the leg press on your phone not doing anything for at least ten minutes, your being a menice and its not  considerate to everyone else who’s trying to work out and better themselves, of course im not going to complain its called patience I can wait, but come on be considerate.

Someday I want to be a teacher, the problem is im not sure how, I am going to america for the summer, and as soon as my visa comes in for australia I am moving there (writing that gives me butterflies). So I dont think I have enough time here in the UK to do a course or anything, I have never worked in a school so thats probably a first step to getting my foot in the door but then I aren’t completed any courses that allow me to get a teaching assistant job. I really dont know if I have enough time or my visa allows me the privilege of completing a course in Australia. Makes me feel like I have to wait a while before I can start the process and I obviously want to start as soon as I can and get my career started. I need money a car and a house before I can have a child and family because I believe that you need to sort your priorities out before you start claiming more responsibilities.

5 Things you should know about me…

Looking through my blog its become a little bit quiet. Partly because I haven’t been doing much lately. I’m in Australia waiting, waiting to spend an amazing christmas with the in-laws, waiting for my flight back to the uk, waiting to start the process of my defacto visa. So I decided to let you know a little bit about me, because to be perfectly honest the inspiration and the creative flow of thinking of what to write about has frozen lately.

Thanatophobia

Not to start with something gloomy or negative but, lately when I go to sleep at night, I cant help but thinking ‘what if I don’t wake up’ what if once I close my eyes, they don’t open again, Or what if me sleeping is wasting time that I have to really live. There are tons of different theories to why people might think of this at night. I think it’s because im not working, and I’m not doing much during the day, so when I put my head down to sleep im purely not tired. Its called thanatophobia (fear of death) and apparently its pretty normal. I read a post about a girl who started thinking about it in her early teens, and now she has a severe form of OCD. She purely doesn’t like the fact that she has no control over when her life may end so she uses that stress to control the other things around her. I dont want to be that person, I want to be a carefree person, someone who can be who they want to be, and live the way they want to live but with no worries, especially about the inevitable

Travel

I want to travel, I want to buy one of those maps that you can use like a scratch card, scratch of the countries that I have been to and attach a photo with sting to point out where it was taken. I want to find a travel and family friendly job so that I have no limits to where I can go and how much it may cost. There are so many places I want to go to, so far id only be scratching out a few countries, but besides going to one city, I haven’t really traveled a whole country, to see all of the beautiful and different places it has within it. For example  you can go to Mexico, sit on the beach with a beautiful cocktail and get an amazing tan, or you can go to mexico be in a hostel and hear gun shots out of your window. Obviously I don’t want to put myself in danger but there are so many different things about different countries that I would love to understand. Having studied journalism and being interested in crime documentaries, there are things that I would love to see (NOT someone getting shot) good and not so good. Not just Mexico, I want to go to India and see the spice markets and the beautiful colours, I want to go to africa and see beautiful wild animals that are free, I want to go to Canada and ski in the mountains, Even to Italy where I have been skiing but I want to go to Venice and Rome and see all of the beautiful architecture. Greece to the Cyclades to see the beautiful houses. I want to see the northern lights! There’s so much I want to see!

Over Ambitious

I’m so over ambitious but I never go through with the plans that I want to set myself. I think it runs in my family to be honest. I studied photographic journalism, but when finishing my course I realised how many people were doing photography, and how journalism isnt based on being a published writer for a paper or a magazine. It’s about using good ethics and writing what you believe in, and that doesn’t necessarily help you get paid, because people want to hear what they want to hear and not necesserily trying to find what the truth is. So I got to thinking, I would love to be a school teacher, but for what ages and if its older what would I want to teach? Also with the way my life is going right now I wouldn’t be able to afford to go back to school to do a teaching degree, that is pretty pricey now days. So then I thought what about using what I already have, I’ve always been interested in criminology, So I could be a crime scene photographer, though with my fear of dying im not sure how I would turn out if I was around so many dead bodies, it may make me go crazy. Then I started reading more, what about being a writer? I enjoy being on my laptop and typing but I honestly don’t think id be good enough to write a best seller kind of book. When I write, its more about whats going on around me or what I have experienced im not sure I would be able to do that in third person and build a character and write something that people would enjoy for hours. Now im stuck, maybe ill just do what society wants me to do and be a stay at home breeder for my boyfriend, Just never be independent, never learn new things and then become boring (Obviously not!). I thought that when I finished university i would understand, and I would know what I wanted to do specifically but what if I never find out or I never know. I know that if I was talking to someone double or triple my age they would tell me everything and put things into perspective but I dont know what it is about us young folk that go ah well now they think it’s a good idea I dont want to do it anymore haha. Its one of those things where it would be easier if i was handed something new and I would be like yea this is great ill try that out. I need to find my me in the working world. I need to find what I can do that earns me money and makes me happy at the same time, run with it and then be the best at it. I even somtimes think that I could be an inventor, the amount of ideas that I have and I think they are amazing!

Crime

I am way too interested in crime documentaries. When I have baths, I want to watch something, sitting in silence bores me. So watching crime documentaries based on all different things. Missing people, prison behaviour, mass killings and many more. Lately Ive been watching 60 days in, about innocent people volunteering to go into prison to help the sherif to understand what is happening within the prison, how drugs are getting in there and how they can stop any further ciminal activity from inside the prison and also how they can prevent people from going back after being released. Im not sure why it interests me so much, Im not a violent person by any means, I have never hit anyone, never been in a fight, I hate confrontation it makes me really emotional. I think its more because I want to understand it, I cant understand how people can hit others or even kill somone. I remember when I passed my driving test and started driving alone I got home and nearly started crying in my room thinking ‘holy crap I could kill somone whilst driving’. Its something that worried me whenever I drove, not to the extent where I was a dangerous driver, I was just more cautious. Somtimes I worry that if I was ever accused of something so hanus the police would look through my computer history and be like ‘Shes been planning this for years!’. That would never happen but honestly it just makes me wonder about the lives that people live and how they can do things that I would never think about doing.

Broody for a baby

I watched a movie today called storks, It made me want a baby so bad! I have been thinking about it for a little while me and my boyfriend especially him loves children and cant wait for the day he gets to be a father. I want to hold my child and feel the love and connection. I want to raise a respectful caring young gentleman and want to help him with his homework and being respectful to women of all ages. I want to raise a daughter where i can dress her up simialar to me for partys and events, be her best friend, somone that she can confide in and allow her to never feel alone or that she cant tell me anything and everything. I want to provide my boyfriend with everything that he has dreamed of and provide him with a child that he will love and appreciate and help to give him a greater meaning of life and providing. Right now it is definitley not financially responsible. I dont have a visa to stay in australia with him and he doesnt really want to live in the UK. I looked into the visa process and im pretty sure if I ended up pregnant while we were in the UK it would be so much more expensive if I had to add a baby onto my visa. It would also mean that we would be coming back into his family home with a child and without work when we get here we would have to rely on family to help us with feeding and clothing the baby, which to me would not be great beause walking around toysrus the otherday I realised how much I would want to buy and how much I would want to get. That wouldnt be fair especially for a potential mother who would want to provide everything for her child. So I feel that I’d have to wait for a few years until I am settled with my boyfriend in a home where we can bring up a child with no other worries. Im just a very impatient person and want it now. Sounds selfish I know.

I understand some of these things may seem odd. Im 23 and unemployed, with a degree and no real clear path. Some of these things may be more common than I might think but I thought I should write a post that some people can relate to and hopfully it can help some of you to understand me a little bit more and help you to not feel so alone in some of your worrys or some of your interests. It would be nice to hear from any of you that have some of the same worries, interests, or even stresses.

 

 

Visa Expert

At this point I’m starting to think I should make a career of giving advice on visas.

I have a slight self motto, which is probably very negative in some people’s view but I always say “You should never think your the best at something because there will always be someone out there that’s better than you”. I guess that can be viewed in a very glass half full way, or it can be viewed as there is always room to improve way.

Either way there are probably people who have applied for more visas than me. Ive applied for three american working visas and soon maybe one more, I have applied for an australian working visa and hope to soon apply for a defacto visa also, and I have assisted my boyfriend in applying for his english youth mobility visa.

I used to be so conscious when I applied for my american visa, When you watch border force programmes on TV you automatically think of how strict some countries can be. Especially when you arrive at the american embassy in the UK and you see police men standing outside with guns, and the attitude that some of the security give you seems so intimidating. I guess they need to do that to make sure that you are on your best behaviour when arriving. The same attitude is that of the security at LAX airport. It seems like a common thing for american security. Though when I applied for my american visa in australia it was completely different. Yes the lady was a little rude but that was just the lady stamping and checking my papers. I saw no security with guns, essentially it was a huge office block, a lot smaller than the one in the UK.

My australian visa was dramatically different, In applying for this visa i didnt have to go the the australian embassy, I didnt have to talk to anyone on the phone. It was simply an online application and you received an email to say that your visa had been granted and that was it. I found it strange, because I thought that the border security was worse than american. It confused me because my visa for australia was significantly longer in time than the american visa. Either way it was one of the happiest days of my life!

When I helped my boyfreind apply for his visa for the UK, we completed the whole application, and he had to book an appointment in melbourne. The whole visa seems like so much money £300 for his health surcharge, which I’m still not completely sure what that is, I think that is what allows him to be on the NHS for the period of time that he is there for, and then £230 for the visa application. Considering that in english pounds its not too much money but when It’s converted into australian dollars, it becomes almost double. I should clearly have a look and check what the healthcare surcharge is (If anyone reading knows then it would be a great help). We went to the visa appointment, which apparently was pretty much just for biometrics. I had to wait outside and obviously asked him what exactly happened, he gave the lady all of his documents, and she took his fingerprints and his photo, and apparently that was it. “She didnt ask you any questions babe” “no nothing just took the papers and the fingerprints and stuff”. I find that weird.

Lastly I’m waiting to get to the uk to complete my partner visa and send it off. It says that it will take between twelve to fourteen months to complete or be accepted, and within that time we aim to go and work in america again. Hopefully that’s allowed, if not I’ll have to not go. Hopefully it will be quicker because I really want to come back to australia and get a car (a mini again hopefully!).

So if anyone has any questions or are worried about applying for any of these types of visas then comment below or message me and I will be happy to answer any questions that you have or ill research them for you.

 

 

Struggling!!

I’m trying to think of a way that I can earn money from home. Weather it means me working all day or not I just want to do something where it doesn’t matter if im in the UK, Australia or america I can still do some work and earn a bit of cash. I don’t want to do these surveys where I earn £2.50 an hour, I don’t want to sell Avon or other beauty supplies, I want to do some real work like data organising, researching, writing or social media. I don’t really know what I’m looking for or whether I’m looking in the right place. I understand to work from home you have to be pretty driven to earn anything, and to be completely honest right now im driven, I need something/ anything to do, I need a reason to wake up and get out of bed!!

I just need something to do, being out of work for so long is killing me, I decided when I got to the uk that I wasnt going to work I had a little bit of money left and already had my flights to australia booked when I got here and I didn’t want to waste my own time or an employers time by working for someone for less than a month and then leaving. Although now I havent been working for 3 months and im about to go to australia where I again wont be working for another 3 months.

I know I can make some money off of this blog, I just don’t really have the money to upgrade it enough yet to put ads on it. I kinda wish I could be a hotel reviewer, where I get paid to go and stay in all different hotels all over the world and I can write whether its good or bad. Like I said in my last post I know im not a reviewer and honestly that was my first review on anything (I don’t think I done a bad job).

SOMEONE HELP ME!

GIVE ME SOME INSPIRATION

GIVE ME SOME HINTS AND /OR TIPS

WHAT CAN I DO?

WHAT SHOULD I DO?

WHAT DO YOU DO?

The plan

I’m a planning person, not the kind that likes to make sure I have an appropriate plan for the weekend or one that has a plan for finances. I just like to have a plan for the future, whether it goes to plan or not is another thing.

I have fallen in love with an australian, an amazing and very annoying thing for an english person. In many ways I wish it was easy for people to just cross a border and live wherever you want to without any complications. I’m sure there are many reasons for why that’s not possible, but I guess with some hard work and dedication we can make it possible. I’ve looked into ‘my options’ and there aren’t that many. Student visa I can’t get and I don’t really want, I havent got the money for the courses and if i enrolled in a course id only have a small amount of time to work and I wont be able to afford somewhere to live as well as the course, I dont know how some people do it. I unfortunately cant get sponsored because I do not hold a degree that is wanted or needed within australia. The last one im considering most is the defacto visa, it is expensive and requires a lot of evidence and information about me and my partner but if we want to be together, then its something that we are going to have to do.

We have decided that this christmas we will go back to australia, get hm a working holiday visa and come back to the uk to work for a while. Then we will save up the money for me to get a defacto visa and apply for it, hopefully when it is accepted we will be in the position where we can fly there straight away. I’ve had a look into some visa agencies which seem cheaper than me doing it alone and also seem like they will be quicker. Although I don’t know who I should trust and what company would be the best to look at. My brother done some research and found a company called true blue, they take two installments of $4000, and that’s the application that you can do from the uk which would be so much easier for us, because I thought I had to do it within australia which would be awkward because I dont have a visa for australia to be able to stay there to actually apply for the visa. they do have bridging visas but im not sure how long they take to come through therefore I would still have to save up enough money to get out of the country until my bridging visa gets accepted. It’s so much money so I have to start working before anything is set into motion.

If anyone has any information on whether im on the right path or if they’re is anything that I havent considered than comments are very welcome, as well as hints or/and tips. Also if you have any success stories of yourselves or friends that might help me then I am all ears.

I look forward to hearing anything.

 

Being Tour Guide…

I’m the not the best person to have as a tour guide in london. I have lived on the outskirts of london all of my life and have never had a keen interest in anything more than the palace, big ben, the wheel and Trafalgar square. So when my boyfriend (an australian) arrived I wasnt sure where to take him or how to get him excited enough about going into london to see the sights. He’s not a massive fan of getting out of the house, especially when it means a whole day of walking. were both pretty lazy when it comes to that, we would much rather watch series on Netflix of anything really, weve finished most of them.

So when a friend of mine came down from Scunthorpe to visit, I took it as an advantage as well as the fact that she plays Pokemon go as well, to get out of the house and walk around london. I will admit i took full advantage as we spent two days wandering around london. the first day she got here (a saturday) we walked from kings cross station to covent garden, down to the Thames and along to big ben where we then walked through the royal armouries to st james park and then through to the palace. It sounds quite quick and brief but it took us from 4 o’clock to well past 8 o’clock to complete the walk. then we had to get the underground and then the top train to get back home. during this we did go into the british history museum, which im pretty sure was more entertaining when I was in school and had people telling me I had to take notes or do something specific with my time there.

The next day we took the opportunity to go and find my friends boyfriend in london as he works for a company which assists in traffic and maintaining the safety of pedestrians around any building sites or something. where he was working was conveniently located close to the imperial war museum, which I loved! I am grateful for the fact that I am from a country that has so much history, granted not all of it is great and it’s actually quite upsetting when you look into it enough. I am still glad I managed to show Ash some of it and he seemed quite interested in the first world war so I was glad. Then we got the train to Camden Town to get some lunch that we do not always have from the market although we still ended up getting chinese and fish and chips but that’s no matter it was all nice anyway.

I’m glad we all managed to go out, it was a lovely weekend, and I have realised that I should find some more places of my own interest that I would be happy to show others when they come to visit. It will be a new mission of mine.

Touring Cali

After camp ends, everyone obviously wants to celebrate. We were on a mountain for three months with kids for really long periods of time, so we ended up IN VEGAS!

Most of the people we worked with stayed in flamingo, due to some of the experiences my brother has had at the flamingo a few of us decided that we weren’t gonna stay there,it is one of the cheapest places to stay on the strip and it looks like everyone has fun there so I have nothing wrong with it and ive never stayed there. Instead we stayed at planet hollywood. Oddly I didn’t use the swimming pool (which right now I regret) but the hotel was amazing, the room service was good (except the pizza, if you don’t like a soggy base to your pizza I wouldn’t recommend it, they should serve it on something other than a plate because it wasnt that appetising when it got to the room). A sneaky little tip though, if you dont mind the smell of smoke for one day, book a smoking room our room and our close friends room was huge, big bed, big bathroom quite corridors. My brother’s room (which was on a non smoking floor) was much smaller probably half the size of mine, same size bed and some furniture, the bathroom was slightly smaller. Even our friends who had two twin beds in their room probably had a smaller space than we had, just a little tip. If you do mind the smell dont worry, if not put the air con on and spray a little air freshener or something and your room will smell fine.

We stayed in Vegas for four nights and then we decided that we would do an 8 hour drive to lake Tahoe. It was one of the most boring drives of my life. Not because of the company that was in the car but the scenery, at times it was beautiful, but most of the time it was just flat land with hardly any bushes, little dust tornadoes. all in all lake tahoe was beautiful, its one of the most scenic places I have ever been to and everyone there seems so nice. I always get asked for my ID because im so small and look so young but I wasnt asked for my ID at all while I was there, it made me feel so calm and free haha. I had tons of fun at tahoe with friends that we worked with. I would post the house that we stayed at on here but I didn’t book it. There is so much to do there, most of us had run out of money by this point but there are so many water sports to do and also in the winter skiing, sounds like an amazing place to have a holiday home.

Before leaving to the uk we spent a week with some friends back on the mountain that we worked on, and had such a relaxing time (looking for pokemon haha), it was perfect!

A week with Ajax

I am finally in america, after spending a few days in Hermosa with my boyfriend and our mutual friend. I left to go near Beverly hills to meet up with an old friend from camp. To save some money and also to spend time with a friend that I haven’t seen in years. She took me to the universal city walk, which was actually quite amazing, there are small street performers and a really cute water fountain which is so inviting, especially when It’s so humid. All people young and old try to predict how they can get through without getting wet. It’s so funny to watch people, you really think they’re going to make it and then the pattern changes and they’re completely drenched. If I had time to dry off I think I would have attempted it too.

One of the days we managed to take a hike up to the hollywood sign, although going from the Griffith observatory didn’t really work for us. we walked for about an hour and a half and didnt really get too close. I’m not a very big hiker so doing a walk like that up such a steep hill was not fun for me. So we decided we would take a different approach. We decided to drive up towards the hollywood bowl. When we got there and walked out a little way we were right behind the hollywood bowl. which was an amazing view, on a night where there is a performance that would be an amazing place to sit and listen to the music for free. probably a bit cheeky but if your there for the music and not the actual performer than maybe its a good idea. Either way it was still pretty far away from the sign. So we started searching for a closer spot. bless Ajax she just wanted me to be happy with how close we got. So lastly we went to Lake Hollywood park. It was the closest and best view that we got of the sign. For anyone who is interested I recommend you go (here’s the address: Lake Hollywood Park, 3202 Canyon Lake Drive, Los Angeles, CA 90068, United States) Honestly for anyone who is like me who isn’t that eager on hiking this is the place to go. Park up near the park and walk down a little way and there is a beautiful tree that you can sit on and just have a perfect view of the sign. The images do not do it justice.

The last thing we done before I returned back to Hermosa is going to Thomas Aquinas College in Santa Paula, California. No I didn’t go to have a look at the curriculum or to enroll into the college. For once I went on a hike, from the front of the university there is an amazing rout right into the mountains. I know I said I don’t like hiking. It’s just too much exercise for me, and once you start to get tired you have to stop, turn around and start the walk back. I know that walking back always seems so much quicker but by this point I just want to sit down. This route completely changed my opinion. You just have to find a path that suits you, this one had beautiful water trails all the way. You could hear the water and just know that you were still on the right track, there was a little bit of climbing, and the best thing was that it wasnt steep at all. I loved the whole thing, we met some really nice people on the walk. because of how much time we had we didnt make it to the waterfall, one day I will find my waterfall! that is my mission!

I enjoyed my whole week with Ajax and would go again in a heart beat, the days that we didnt go out I went to their communual gym and felt amazing everyday just because of how much I was excersizing! oddly, I had so much fun!

Toll

Travelling can definitely take its toll on everything, emotions, relationships, family, dreams and life all together. Whilst travelling you are leaving the bubble that you used to be in to join a new society a new life with completely new surroundings. Usually I forget about what I left behind, but lately what I left behind is becoming more and more a memory. Family, friends and my job meant the world to me, until I dropped it all and decided to move to the other side of the world. Yes I know that it was my decision and I knew what I was leaving and sacrificing. For me it’s okay because everyone I love so much are happy and healthy and I stay in contact with, for others it’s not so good. Most recently one of my closest friends here had a pet pass away and for heritage was heart breaking, another instance is a guy I was talking to at the hostel lost his grandparent.

For people like this they do not get to say a proper goodbye and they have the at heart wrenching pain that will stay there until they get home and get to see family and hear stories or get to talk it through with family members. I’m not too sure how you can get over the grief of losing a loved one because fortunately for me it hasn’t happened yet well not something that has cut that deep, to be honest I’m quite a heartless and emotionless person when it comes to certain things and I’m not sure how I will deal with it when it eventually happens to me, but watching other people go through that kind of pain is not nice and because of my kind of personality I hAve no idea what to say. In most sad situations I try to make a joke but when it comes to that, it’s just disrespectful. All I can do it be Sheldon and offer a hot beverage (which is what I done for Sanny and she smiled thank god). Travelling honestly does take your mind off of  things that are going on back home, but when it comes down to it, there’s things that you don’t want to forget about or things that you wish you had kept an eye on, and now you can’t go back and alter them.

On a happier note, I have decided to go back to camp, in america, somewhere that I am familiar with and people that I am familiar with, and im going with my boyfriend which is a bonus! My brother will be there and that is going to make me feel like I’m closer to home. Im so excited and anxious.

ITS GOING TO BE AMAZING!